Paul and I like to intone half-mockingly in a stentorian voice the following adage: "Man works from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done". It's such an old fashioned and cliched sentiment that it's a bit of a running joke in our family. And yet, my half mocking voice becomes more and more earnest each time I say it.
Seriously, I NEVER sit down.
Sometimes I'm a little jealous that Paul wakes up and starts his daily routine and launches into his day with the full knowledge that he knows where he must be and who he must talk to and what he must do... and then he knows he'll be home for dinner and a relaxing evening watching Netflix or playing his guitar.
I thought about this the other day as I scrambled to make the kids lunches and get them dressed and then wondered if I could possibly accomplish all the little things on my list before lunchtime. All the things on my list are not required, but are necessary for the smooth operation of our lives. After all, I can let the laundry pile up but then there would be overwhelming despair from Elliot that his favorite shirt isn't clean, or Owen would run out of clean socks for school. Neither of which are really major problems in the big picture, of course, but ones which I can easily avoid by just keeping the laundry clean and put away.
Then there are the dishes. Ugh. It's my own fault but by the end of the day I can't possibly wash a sink full of dirty dishes. and every time I make the conscious choice to leave them and wash them in the morning it inevitably makes my next morning that much more stressed because now not only do I have to pack lunches, get dressed, get the kids ready for school and get out the door, I ALSO have to wash last night's dinner dishes. WHY oh WHY do I think postponing them would make it easier on me? (I go through this dirty dishes experience several times a week and you'd think I'd learn to bite the bullet, but somehow I never figure it out.)
This all sounds like complaining, but really it's not. No really, it's not. I love domesticity.
Today, for example, was a lovely day. Elliot and I walked Owen to school and then came home and made two batches of playdough, juiced some apples, made homemade applesauce and then baked some apple walnut muffins... I realized at lunch time that our beautiful day together was spent almost entirely in the kitchen. It was wonderful. Clearly, on days when I can choose to make my own activities I always choose to be domestic in the kitchen. If I have free time, I bake. That's what I do! I even like cleaning dishes and vacuuming. Call me crazy but I do.
Except when it starts getting out of control. It's the piling up that drives me bonkers.
On one of those mama blogs that I like to read (see my blog links on the right), a long time ago I read an anecdote that (paraphrased) goes something like: if you have a list of things to do in a day and one of those is not at all what you want to do, then do the horrible one first. As in, I have to go grocery shopping, eat a frog, balance my checkbook and bake some bread. Well, Eat the Frog first and the rest of the day will be fantastic. Otherwise the lingering dread of that frog will hover and ruin your day.
Now I'm thinking I need to heed that advice. My daily 6am to Midnight (definitely NOT 9-5) endless motion is accelerating and I have to remember to Eat that Frog.
5 comments:
I'm with you all of the way! Women's work really, is never done--especially with little kids in the house. Once our Julie was invited to spent the night with friends of ours!!! The gal adored Julie's spunk and wanted Julie to come. Bonnie's dad had already had died and so it was just her and her mom. Her mom sat down to read the paper after supper. Julie asked her why she was doing that--that her mom never sits down! So you see we must be of the same spirit!! :-) :-)
I think what you really need is encouragement! You are a fantastic mom and your boys and Paul are blessed to have you. I think both the boys and Paul are very aware of how blessed they are! God go with you, Lisel, to keep on keeping on! I love you!
Aunt Carol
I don't think I'll eat the frog first, but I get the rational! I doubt that I will think of procrastination in the same way again. LOL! GG
I LOVE this post, Lisel. I read it a few days ago, and several times I have found myself reciting "A man's work . . . but a woman's work is NEVER done." Seriously.
A couple of weeks ago, I asked the other moms (five of them) at Clara's ballet class about having someone come in and do the cleaning. I was the ONLY mom there who had never had someone come in to clean. (Two of the mom's had someone come in regularly; the others had had help in times of particular stress.) Hmmm.
Housework is just the beginning, though, right? Women just have a lot of work. And you do your work as good (or better) than anyone I know. So I'm going to take your "eat the frog" advice to heart. Thanks!
My question is don't you have a dishwasher? Of course they have to be emptied, but if you don't have one I would be pushing for that. In our house Hack cooks and I do the dishes. So I would say that if you are cooking, Paul should do the dishes. That's only fair. Run that by him and see what he says. It could change your life! Aunt Joan
Oh, Lisel. How I relate to this post!! We must have the same schedule. And yes, get the dirty work over with on to what we love. Ribbit!
Merry Christmas!
Julie
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