Two weeks into our summer vacation. I think I mentioned before that we are embracing the chaos here this summer. I wanted to explain that a little more... I realized that since Elliot was born, Owen has been pretty much in school the whole time and when he gets home, he craves my attention. Elliot, on the other hand, has my attention all day and when Owen is home, he just wants to get right next to Owen and climb on him and play with him in his own inimitable energetic way. Which frustrates Owen to no end. So, I decided not to sign Owen up for any summer camps or organized activities this summer, and instead see what happened when the boys did things together. I think we are slowly getting it.... the challenges we are facing sometimes seem insurmountable, though.
I feel like I spend a lot of my time policing behavior, and hearing shouts of "Elliot!!! NOOOO!" from Owen. There is shoving, there is pulling and pushing, there are tears. Sometimes we settle into something that they can both do and there is peace and combined excitement about the project.... usually it doesn't last long because Elliot has the attention span of, well, a two year old.
We keep trying, though. Yesterday we were out front in the garden and noticed some trucks working on the main street near our home. We wandered down and watched the team of workers removing the old telephone poles (having recently undergrounded all the cables and wires) and piling them into a truck with an impressive looking crane. The boys and I watched for nearly an hour, and it was thrilling. Then we went home and tried to recreate the scene that had kept us so mesmerized: building the crane and vehicle with Legos, using Lincoln Logs as the telephone poles. It was fun! But then it wasn't when Elliot got tired of it and started throwing pieces of Owen's set-up on the ground.
I sometimes feel like I'm being mean making Owen share his special things, but I honestly get tired of pulling Elliot away from whatever Owen is working on. Does anybody have any advice or tips or know if there are any games or activities that are great for two kids who are at such different levels intellectually? (Owen is almost 6, and Elliot is 2 1/2) or am I relegated to a summer of parallel play and hiding all of Owen's unfinished projects on the uppermost shelves of all our bookcases.
Right now, Elliot is napping and Owen has a friend over. Owen and Kay are playing guitar and doing "shows" in the backyard... they just spent 45 minutes building a bird perch out of Lincoln Logs for a little wooden parrot that we have. I know sometime soon Elliot will reach the age where he can really play with his brother like that, but for now we are just trying to figure things out.
4 comments:
My girls play really well together most of the time, but it took some time to get here. They're also closer in age than your two, so I somehow believe that has a part in it.
Nap time has been really helpful for that. Anya goes to nap and Lily and I do a puzzle or snuggle on the couch or just hang out. Sometimes we don't really do anything but be in the same room. She's calmer after that.
But yeah, we're trying to keep it casual over here as well.
I think you are doing a great job, Lisel! Don't worry, as they get older they will probably become best of friends! When Bill's sister, Sharon had her grandkids up for a couple days without parents they started fighting. She told them that there is no fighting in Grandma's house! The one little girl said--well, grandma, that is just the way it is--kids fight! So there you have it! Peggy is trying to figure out what to do with her little Josie. She can be pretty crabby. She only stays entertained for a few minutes with one toy and then Peggy has to switch! It is an all day job!! She told me just yesterday that that I should pray for her! The little stink pot is so smart and cute you have to love her!!
Aunt Carol
Lisel, I applaud you. Even though the heat of any one given skirmish seems intense, yet I also note that there are many times when Owen is so kind to Elliot and certainly Elliot adores his big brother.
You are a good teacher and a good example to both the boys. Keep the goal of them becoming great men in front of you and enjoy the many, many fun times of the present. GG
I feel your pain... Duncan & Declan at 3 1/2 and 18 months are in such different places, but are both right THERE. My solution for now is a "barn door" to Duncan's bedroom. During the day we keep the top half open, and if he wants to play Duplo or lincoln logs he goes in there, and I pop back and forth between Declan's playing & Duncan's. It's not ideal, but it stops the little one from destroying the big ones creations. And of course, a LOT of time is spent outside where the skirmishes are diminished by the great outdoors.
Post a Comment