I am not a perfect mother. I can be impatient, bossy, demanding, irritable, and cold -- sometimes all at the same time! However, as you can tell by my blog entries (hopefully, you can tell this) I strive to overcome these traits. This blog, for me, is a space to relish the good times instead of dwelling on the hard part of child rearing. Because we all know how hard it can be.
One of my neighbors likes to joke with me a little... he calls me "the perfect mother" because I don't let my kids chew gum, or eat candy, or watch TV all the time, or play video games. We are an organic, mostly vegetarian, Prius-driving household where Owen and Elliot eat their vegetables and we try to spend our time doing constructive, educational activities. To my neighbor, this is in some way odd. It's always struck me as odd, though, that those qualities of our life are what he thinks makes me a "perfect" mother. Those are the parts that are easy and fun because that's the way I like to live my life, and it's easy to model healthy eating and healthy living for my children when I aspire to be healthy, too. Yet I always find myself laughing and somehow apologizing for being this stereotype of a healthy person. I know, I live in Southern California and I eat tofu and grow kale in my garden for raw vegetable juicing and, and, and.... I am kind of living a stereotype -- and enjoying it.
And, as I said, this part of my life is easy. The hard part is how I react when things aren't so easy and fun. I find myself badgering Owen to do something or losing my patience with Elliot's boisterousness or being too abrupt or uncaring with them because it doesn't suit my own selfishness in the moment. Those are the times when I step back and wonder why I'm behaving so badly. That's when I know I have a long way to go to be a "perfect" mother, and having children eat their vegetable is by far the lowest rung on the ladder.
I intended this blog to be a record celebrating our daily adventures both little and small. Since I've been blogging regularly again, I've discovered it's also a great reminder for me to continue striving to be a better mother. Not the "perfect" mother, just a better mother.
4 comments:
Lisel - I think you are the perfect mother because you're exactly what Owen and Elliot need. I think they (and most of us, frankly) would rather see you as human than just being in the perfect, happy mood all the time. What you're demonstrating is that life is challenging, but it is how you handle the challenges that shape you and make you a better (or perfect) person. You do a fantastic job, don't ever sell yourself short! Love, Kirst
Hey girl- I second your sis's words. Seeing you be impatient, short with words, or just plain blue is also important in the boys development. They need to see the light and the dark of their favorite woman, so they don't expect only "perfect" or even "good" from people all of the time- themselves included. We are complex, and resilient- the little ones most of all.
Meanwhile, you are doing a great job- you could be a poster mom for Michelle Obama's mission! Gardening, moving, healthy living...
Well, my dear, You are a good mother and I applaud you for many things! I so agree with the healthy eating and not much candy, and not too many video games and TV watching! All are what I call excellent! No, you are probably not a perfect mother because there is no one perfect here on earth except through Christ! The Bible says that no one is perfect--no not one--all have come short of the Glory of God! You are precious to me and I know you are even more precious to Paul, Owen and Elliot! Even above all of us you are precious to our Lord and Savior! We all love you Lisel!
Aunt Carol
We are happy that you are a VERY GOOD MOTHER, Lisel. Believe me when I say, I can identify with your times of frustration with child rearing. I can also identify with you with the tremendous rewards of watching your child grow and since I am down the road a little farther then you at this point, I can say that the reward of seeing your children mature into manhood and seeing the cycle repeat itself with grandchildren, I have had a little longer to reflect on the things that perhaps I did right and where I could have had a different attitude. So, how can I resolve all this? I simply have to say, I didn't always get it right, but I have always love our three sons and I am still working on responding appropriately with God's help. I have peace that God's grace and peace is at work in all of our lives. GG
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